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What is your passion?

My journey on discovering my calling

People often say, “Follow your heart’s desire.” However, when I was picking my future profession, I chose accounting — yes, as boring as it seems! After all, this profession allowed me to pay my bills and feel financially secure for many years. But you know what? I was 16 years old when I chose my first career, and back then, I wasn’t scared or hesitant about becoming some sort of creative genius. I simply had no idea what my passion was.

Meanwhile, I sincerely enjoyed multiple things in life. I've been in love with drawing since I was little, starting with my first craft on my aunt’s wallpapers and going to art school in my early school years when I created canvases in oil and won regional competitions. After that, I played basketball in high school and did synchronized swimming.

Looking back, I can also recall my deep passion for reading. When I spent my summers at my grandma’s, I often climbed under the bed (so she wouldn’t push me to play outside), and I enjoyed that fascinating fiction world. But it wasn’t until my 25th birthday that I got an idea for my own story that I could tell. It wasn't really a passion shaping my storytelling; it was the pain.

It all started after I lost my father to cancer. After months of fighting the disease, he passed away, leaving me devastated. Grieving is normal, but I had a hard time with all the questions swirling in my head and the pain in my heart. My father was my hero, an amazing and kind person. Everyone who knew him loved and respected him. Yet, he faced such a tragic end... How could I accept it?

Soon after his passing, I started having vivid dreams in which we talked, and it helped me discover the deeper meaning of life. I also read many books and attended group therapy, which eventually helped me heal. I embraced the fact that being a good and passion-driven person doesn’t guarantee anything in life, and that realization was bliss.

Letting go of expectations in life sets us truly free. While life can be painful at times, instead of dwelling on what we might have done wrong or why life has been challenging, we can choose to be authentic. We can shape our future by doing our best rather than being driven by fear of not being good enough or blindly following motivational coaches. By adjusting our moral compass and striving to be our best selves, we can make a positive impact and keep moving forward.

Today, as I put these thoughts on paper, I feel more alive than ever. It feels like something I have been walking towards my whole life, often without even realizing it. After my therapy, in my late 30s, I began journaling and writing about women who found their way to healing themselves and their society. This is how my book series was born. Also, this is how my second career started, this time as an author.

Here is the thing – if you already know what your passion is, you won’t need external reminders to follow it. You will pursue it naturally because it’s what drives you. However, if you haven’t discovered your calling yet, don’t let it discourage you. Simply enjoy doing what you love and explore new activities in your leisure time. 

Life is not linear. You may discover your passion later on, and that’s perfectly okay!

Sincerely yours,

          Lubov Leonova

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P.S. Thank you for reading!

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