Ask them now to avoid regrets in the future

Who hasn't dreamed of having a fairytale wedding? When I was a little girl, I fantasized about walking down the petal-strewn path in my long white dress, my heart fluttering in anticipation of becoming a wife to... well, actually, I had no idea who my future husband would be. All I knew is that he would be smart, funny, and would make an amazing groom!

When I was in my dreams, everything seemed simple and joyful. However, when I entered into a serious relationship and started living with my boyfriend, I faced a dilemma. The thought of wearing that beautiful dress was so tempting. I could imagine standing in a flower-decorated gazebo, holding his hands in mine, and saying “I do!” On the other hand, we had a lot of unresolved issues, from our views on how to spend money to the complicated relationship between our parents. I knew for sure that these problems wouldn’t disappear after we got married on paper. Moreover, they could potentially grow bigger, eventually leading to our divorce. However, attempting to resolve them once and for all might have ended our relationship in the near future.

What do you think I chose?

Before answering that, let me tell you that getting married is a significant decision that should not be taken lightly. Before saying "I do," it's important to ask yourself some crucial questions to ensure that you and your partner are truly ready for marriage.

Here are five questions to consider before tying the knot:

1. Are we on the same page about our future goals and values?

One of the most important things to consider before getting married is whether you and your partner have similar goals and values. Do you both want the same things out of life? Are your values and beliefs aligned? It's important to have open and honest conversations about your future plans to ensure that you are both on the same page.

2. How do we handle conflict and disagreements?

Every couple will face challenges and disagreements at some point in their relationship. It's important to consider how you and your partner handle conflict and whether you are able to communicate effectively and resolve issues in a healthy way. If you find yourselves constantly arguing or unable to find common ground, it may be a sign that you need to work on your communication skills before getting married.

3. Are we financially compatible?

Money can be a major source of conflict in relationships, so it's important to consider whether you and your partner are financially compatible. Do you have similar spending habits and financial goals? Are you both comfortable with how you handle money as a couple? It's important to have open and honest conversations about your finances and to make sure that you are both on the same page before getting married.

4. Do we have a strong emotional connection?

Emotional connection is a key component of a successful marriage. Do you and your partner feel emotionally connected and supported by each other? Do you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings with your partner? It's important to have a strong emotional bond with your partner to ensure that you can weather the ups and downs of married life together.

5. Are we both willing to put in the work to make our marriage successful?

Marriage takes effort and commitment from both partners. Are you and your partner both willing to put in the work to make your marriage successful? Are you both committed to growing and evolving as individuals and as a couple? It's important to be honest with yourself and your partner about your willingness to put in the effort to make your marriage work.

Asking yourself these five questions before marrying your partner can help you ensure that you are making the right decision for your future. By taking the time to consider these important factors, you can set yourself up for a successful and fulfilling marriage.

And as for me... as you might already know, I chose the hard way – to sit down and talk about all our misunderstandings. It was one of the hardest things to do because, more than anything, I was afraid of losing the man I loved.

However, an honest conversation helped us see the silver lining – whatever differences we had, we were both willing to find a compromise. We both had one priority that was much bigger than any discomfort caused by adjusting to the other person. We had a deep love for each other, and we wanted to stay together despite our differences, flaws, and all the obstacles we could possibly face.

After that talk, we didn’t break up. On the contrary, it brought our relationship to a completely new level. Now, we had mutual trust. Knowing that I could rely on this man made me confident on the most important day of our lives. When I was walking down the petal-strewn path, wearing my stunning wedding dress, my heart was glowing. I knew that I was ready to spend the rest of my life with this man. And when I said, “I do!” It was the sweetest two words that escaped my lips.

Sincerely yours,

          Lubov Leonova

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